For the past year I have struggled with letting go and moving forward with my life. On January 1 , 2009 Glen was still alive, but it was clear to me that he was indeed dying. I struggled with the issue of quality of life when I wrote:
My wish and hope for 2009 is that Glen will move toward embracing a life supportive philosophy and away from the medical approach that is life destroying.
Glen would “live” for 2 1/2 months - never letting go of the idea that traditional medicine with its promise of a cure was his best hope. By January 1, 2010 Glen had been dead for over 9 months and I struggled with the notion of living without him. I wrote:
My hope for 2010 is that I will find a way to begin creating the rest of my life without the love of my life to share the adventure.
2010 was a year filled with struggle and self doubt. It was a year where I tried to move past the loss of my dear Glen - but without knowing where I would move on too. The year was marked by “letting go” of my life with Glen. It meant letting go of the adventure of living we had shared. Although I knew I would need to find a way to live without him, it was not clear to me what living without Glen would entail. Today, January 1, 2011 I wrote:
Now I move forward with a clear path toward where I know I am going in this new phase of my life journey. I am no longer moving away - from my grief and loss of the love of my life - but toward my new life as a writer.
Now I move toward my new life journey, knowing there will be many more struggles I will face, but with the knowledge I am moving into my life.
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