When Glen was diagnosed with cancer, he told me the future would be harder for me than for him - he would eventually die and I would be left behind. I thought he was wrong, that dying was the more difficult role. On March 19, 2009 five days after he died I wrote:
The sadness spilled out into the room as we all felt him depart and were filled with grief at our loss. Tears flowed, hugs exchanged among us who were left behind...
I spent the next several months trying to avoid the pain of being left behind. Eventually I did begin the process of facing my aloneness . On August 29, 2009 I wrote:
Yesterday as I closed the blinds in the bay window at dusk, I saw an old man and woman from the neighborhood walking hand in hand slowly down the street and my heart ached because I knew this was lost to me.
As the months passed, I struggled with what the future held - would a life without Glen even be possible. On January 1, 2010 I wrote:
I must find a way to live a “me” life because the “we” part of my life has ended.
Today I continue to struggle with being left behind - to live in a world without Glen - this wise man who understood it is hard to be the one left behind.
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