When our loved one has died - there are things that we inevitably let go. For me it began slowly - with physical things that had belonged to Glen. Most of his clothes were the first things to be passed on to others. On June 21, 2009 I wrote:
Last weekend was three months since Glen’s death...I cleaned out Glen’s dresser and gave some of his clothes away...
Letting go of Glen’s clothes was easier than some other letting go items.
The most difficult thing was when (my friend and her family) came over and took Glen’s records and turntable...listening to records and singing along - that was a big part of what we did together...
As time has passed, I have been able to let go of other items belonging to Glen. Personal items - shoe inserts, glasses - were some of the last things to go. And I must confess, I continue to hold onto a few items - his shoes, his ties - for some unknown reason I can’t seem to let go.
The non-physical things are harder to let go. On May 14, 2010 I wrote:
I recognize my current wave of sadness concerns my loss of his total love and support ... now that I don’t have his unconditional support I can become filled with doubt and uncertainty, lost in the world along...
This realization has led me down the path of letting go of my reliance on Glen’s steady support and love for me. This is the most difficult letting go - it means Glen is dead, and I must find a way to make a life for myself without him.
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