Magical thinking is what we do when we cannot accept the finality of death.
On January 1, 2009 I wrote this when Glen was suffering horrific pain due to the cancer that had metastasized into his spine:
I believe with all my heart...that the body can heal itself - even from a disease as horrific as cancer..
On February 14, 2009 I wrote of the hope for prolonging life:
Valentines day - and small hope flows from my heart. Glen will begin a new round of chemotherapy...We are looking at treatments every three weeks for six cycles - a total of 18 weeks. This will bring us into June...
Glen would be dead in 28 days. Five months later, on August 23, 2009 I wrote:
This past week was one of revelation...Mike bought me a balloon for my birthday...May 17...at first I imagined that Glen's spirit in the balloon was standing guard over in the corner...on sentry duty...the balloon would rotate to expose the message “Happy Birthday”...I thought, “Glen’s spirit is saying hello to me...”I’d greet the balloon and it comforted me as I approached another lonely day...I wondered how long Glen’s spirit could keep the balloon afloat...On August 19...the balloon could no longer float...the balloon embodied with Glen’s spirit (had) kept floating into my vision and into my heart...Since the balloon has gone, I have tried to come to grips with how to live...
Magical thinking keeps our heart and spirit alive until we can begin to find a way to live again.
I too have felt the 'magical spirit' when someone close has died. A magical spirit has appeared as a butterfly on a warm afternoon, fluttering above me, circling around as if to say "I'm here with you.... "
ReplyDeleteKeep the spirit within your heart and you will feel the closness that keeps the mortal soul's love alive within.
Yes, Magical Thinking is how we keep from falling into that deep, dark pit of sadness from which we may not be able to climb out. Believing that that spirit continues to exist is an important way those left behind can keep on living in this world.
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